Post by experimental on Aug 22, 2017 13:51:59 GMT
Has anyone actively dated... as in, go to dating events or dating sites, tried to actively meet people and dated? How have you found it?
I'm just wondering.... I am not doing that right now, but I am like so shut off from dating that even thinking about it is weird for me. And I hardly meet new people of any kind anymore. I think actively dating will help ease the pressure of meeting someone, because I've always done better in artificial set-ups rather than naturally meeting people lol.... like parties and interviews. But eventually it will have to settle back into normalcy (friends, too) and I don't tend to do that transition well. The only friends I have are the ones who have persisted or who are around me often enough for me to get used to. I'd like to do better than that. That's with friends though, I'm actually a little better with guys and dating than I am making female friends I think.
For anyone with parts have you found it hard to balance or share? I dunno how people do it when it's a system dating a single-person. I've always been kinda limited-range with every relationship and friendship (except therapy). There's depth in some parts/states but that doesn't mean the whole system is involved and the relationship (incl friendships) can't move to the next level. I've also had deep relationships that are perpetually complicated and never shallow nor develops into a healthy sustainable thing.... so, i'm trying to change that too.
I'm hoping to move cities in the next year or so... Nothing inspires me here and I've tried, but I know which city will. It won't fix all my problems but I can see myself living there longterm. I hope to do proper therapy again too. There's a lot left to do. My current wellness is from putting it all away in a gentle non-rejecting way and parts cooperating for the most part. But stuff is not resolved. I can see more and want to reach more. I won't be able to do that here so I'm trying to shake out of the routine and comfortable misery that keeps me here.
I'm just wondering.... I am not doing that right now, but I am like so shut off from dating that even thinking about it is weird for me. And I hardly meet new people of any kind anymore. I think actively dating will help ease the pressure of meeting someone, because I've always done better in artificial set-ups rather than naturally meeting people lol.... like parties and interviews. But eventually it will have to settle back into normalcy (friends, too) and I don't tend to do that transition well. The only friends I have are the ones who have persisted or who are around me often enough for me to get used to. I'd like to do better than that. That's with friends though, I'm actually a little better with guys and dating than I am making female friends I think.
For anyone with parts have you found it hard to balance or share? I dunno how people do it when it's a system dating a single-person. I've always been kinda limited-range with every relationship and friendship (except therapy). There's depth in some parts/states but that doesn't mean the whole system is involved and the relationship (incl friendships) can't move to the next level. I've also had deep relationships that are perpetually complicated and never shallow nor develops into a healthy sustainable thing.... so, i'm trying to change that too.
I'm hoping to move cities in the next year or so... Nothing inspires me here and I've tried, but I know which city will. It won't fix all my problems but I can see myself living there longterm. I hope to do proper therapy again too. There's a lot left to do. My current wellness is from putting it all away in a gentle non-rejecting way and parts cooperating for the most part. But stuff is not resolved. I can see more and want to reach more. I won't be able to do that here so I'm trying to shake out of the routine and comfortable misery that keeps me here.
