Post by experimental on Sept 17, 2017 13:40:00 GMT
Hey guys. I don’t want to hog the forum and I would like to see more people post… so I hope you guys do post and don’t take whatever I post as setting the tone for anything…. I hope you’re all comfortable posting.
My car accident case is ongoing… so I went to see a new neuropsychologist as a follow on from stuff in previous assessments. This one is considered to be ‘treatment’ rather than a direct referral from the insurance or lawyer to see someone to be assessed. He assessed me anyway. He's also qualified as a clinical psychologist and thoroughly tried to assess everything.
I did the Personality Assessment Inventory this time. It’s like the MMPI but slightly less crap lol. Officially normal again heehh…. But since seeing him isn’t directly thru the lawyer I have a little more privacy and leeway and so I was less focused and guarded with him. More stuff probably showed because it’s easier to truthfully choose the better option in a T/F situation (as in the MMPI2) than it is to under-report something wrong on a 1-4 scale (as is in the PAI). Anyway, aside from coming across as somewhat ‘cold’ and ‘depressed’ the other score pushing the normal cut-off was borderline. I’m glad. I’m impressed. And it feels like a truce of sorts with measurement tools.
I was also telling this forum (you) in my head cos of my posts about borderline at the old forum and saying how I wouldn’t meet criteria now anyway. I just don’t want to be alone in seeing all these nuances and details all the time. I don’t want to be the only one. And this time it shows. On a test where it was the furthest thing from my mind when I did it, and when I did it while being ‘well’, too. And importantly, when I was open and genuinely measured for a thing I wasn’t sharply aware of. I’m so glad. I’m not sure what it is, something like resolution or forgiveness.
The guy also casually and confidently told me I’m not DID though, when I brought up that I have a dissociative disorder (it’s already in my records thanks to my lawyer getting carried away). I tried to have a conversation but he went on a spiel about how dissociation originally means dis-association and how anyway he doesn’t reckon I have DID, or 'any serious dissociative disorder of that sort' (said interchangeably rather than in addition to). I didn’t have my ducks in a row about that one but now I do and I’m going to bring in this non-confrontational info sheet I’ll prepare and tell him I brought it because I can’t think clearly/quickly enough to speak cos of the brain issues (not untrue, it’s not the diss, but the nature of the topic makes it harder). I’ll tell him that I respect his opinion and that this is important to me so that I hope he can give it some thought even though we most likely won’t work together beyond a few sessions. And to my surprise it’s totally true. I can be open and live my truth at the same time. It’s a brave new world for sure.
(And he’s really not bad. Though he sounded arrogant on the phone and I gave him a chance when he seemed different in person)
(But he has a _mind_, and we can turn him around
)
(It's not gonna be amazing like parts imagine but parts are also learning how changeable the outside is and how fun it is to be real and interact with our circumstances)
My car accident case is ongoing… so I went to see a new neuropsychologist as a follow on from stuff in previous assessments. This one is considered to be ‘treatment’ rather than a direct referral from the insurance or lawyer to see someone to be assessed. He assessed me anyway. He's also qualified as a clinical psychologist and thoroughly tried to assess everything.
I did the Personality Assessment Inventory this time. It’s like the MMPI but slightly less crap lol. Officially normal again heehh…. But since seeing him isn’t directly thru the lawyer I have a little more privacy and leeway and so I was less focused and guarded with him. More stuff probably showed because it’s easier to truthfully choose the better option in a T/F situation (as in the MMPI2) than it is to under-report something wrong on a 1-4 scale (as is in the PAI). Anyway, aside from coming across as somewhat ‘cold’ and ‘depressed’ the other score pushing the normal cut-off was borderline. I’m glad. I’m impressed. And it feels like a truce of sorts with measurement tools.
I was also telling this forum (you) in my head cos of my posts about borderline at the old forum and saying how I wouldn’t meet criteria now anyway. I just don’t want to be alone in seeing all these nuances and details all the time. I don’t want to be the only one. And this time it shows. On a test where it was the furthest thing from my mind when I did it, and when I did it while being ‘well’, too. And importantly, when I was open and genuinely measured for a thing I wasn’t sharply aware of. I’m so glad. I’m not sure what it is, something like resolution or forgiveness.
The guy also casually and confidently told me I’m not DID though, when I brought up that I have a dissociative disorder (it’s already in my records thanks to my lawyer getting carried away). I tried to have a conversation but he went on a spiel about how dissociation originally means dis-association and how anyway he doesn’t reckon I have DID, or 'any serious dissociative disorder of that sort' (said interchangeably rather than in addition to). I didn’t have my ducks in a row about that one but now I do and I’m going to bring in this non-confrontational info sheet I’ll prepare and tell him I brought it because I can’t think clearly/quickly enough to speak cos of the brain issues (not untrue, it’s not the diss, but the nature of the topic makes it harder). I’ll tell him that I respect his opinion and that this is important to me so that I hope he can give it some thought even though we most likely won’t work together beyond a few sessions. And to my surprise it’s totally true. I can be open and live my truth at the same time. It’s a brave new world for sure.
(And he’s really not bad. Though he sounded arrogant on the phone and I gave him a chance when he seemed different in person)
(But he has a _mind_, and we can turn him around
) (It's not gonna be amazing like parts imagine but parts are also learning how changeable the outside is and how fun it is to be real and interact with our circumstances)
